Muslim madness: what no one is talking about but everyone is thinking about
August 19, 2008 by greekmuslim
You know people are thinking about it because you can see subtle (or not-so-subtle!) hints in people’s messages and e-mails but everyone is afraid to let it out of the bag for fear of embarrassment or rejection.
What is that topic? You figure it out:
What she says: Wow, ma sha Allah, great idea to gather all the Greek Muslims together.
What she means: I wonder if I can meet a really awesome Greek Muslim brother that will fall in love with me.
What he says: Wow, ma sha Allah, great idea to gather all the Greek Muslims together.
What he means: I wonder if there are any beautiful Greek Muslim sisters I can hook up with?
The topic? “I wanna get married!”
(Haha, I know you’re smiling right now. 
)
Ok, so let’s let the cat out of the bag. How do brothers or sisters approach each other without feeling utterly embarrassed?! How do we go about hooking marriages up, keeping in mind everything has to be halal? We need to go through a wali but many of us here don’t have a father wali but most likely an imam wali that is probably busy with a thousand other things.
Ok, so don’t get shy on me now. I don’t want to be the only one talking about this – then that will be uncomfortable . Post your ideas, even if you are married or if you are not looking for marriage. We’re just in “general beating around the bush” type conversation right now. No need for utter embarrassment … yet!
MUHAMMAD HUMZA:
Assalamu ‘alaikum
6 years ago, more or less, I wanted to marry a Greek sister who had recently converted and was kicked out of her house (her father was a priest). She didn’t wan’t to marry me for some reason, maybe she thought I was ugly, who knows.
Anyway that was right before I left for Mauritania and I never heard from her since.
MUHAMMAD HUMZA
Assalamu ‘alaikum
I want to give our brothers and sisters here some advice.
Please go and study your religion, be patient and don’t marry now, you owe it to yourself and your family. Marriage is a huge responsibility, you’re required to know your rights and hers, what a legitimate marriage is and isn’t, what can nullify marriage and how to get divorced (yes, that is a requirement).
All that is just a small part of what you are obliged to know.
What is more crucial is the knowledge that all Muslims are obliged to know, and that is understanding, along with it’s explanation, the pillars of Iman and knowing what and how to perform whatever is fard upon us.
Wa salam
Aristea
Well.. I think there is no reason to be embarassed if you are looking for a halal relationship, which is marriage. Actually… I am here because I wanted to meet fellow Greek Muslims, and find a nice Greek Muslim brother. I have been through some very tough situation and with the grace of Allah I have survived, and looking for a Muslim man that truly follows Islam.
Greek Muslim
Br. Humza, you brought up a good point about compatibility. Sometimes, even if you are both from the same religion and culture, you are just not compatible with the other. Also, on a side note, in general, sisters don’t have looks as the number one priority like (in general) many guys do when it comes to dunya matters. For sisters, it may be third or fourth down the list.
Aristea, I know your situation is tough… just stick it out and I pray that Allah opens a way for you. Sometimes, it takes courage for sisters to get out there and tell others that they are looking to get married.
So, what’s the best way to go about halal matchmaking? …
ABU ABDULLAH AZZAM
My sincere advice is to first of all fear Allah the Almighty in such serious matters. I suggest to marry as soon as you are legally and financially able to. There is nothing to stop you from pursuing knowledge whilst married. Especially for my brothers out there who live in the West, get married as soon as you can because the fitnah of the woman is huge in these countries. Even if you have a beard and or even wear sunnah clothing, shaitan will find ways to tempt you. By marrying you complete an enormous Sunnah that is equal to half your Deen , you also preserve your chastity, and you also contribute to the ummah with children. Please contemplate the following hadith:
Narrated Abdullah: We were with the Prophet while we were young and had no wealth whatever. So Allah’s Apostle said, “O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power.”
Sahih Bukhari
Allah made the Greek man handsome and energetic, so brothers please get married, your wife can be from any culture, but if you prefer a Greek woman (meaning Muslimah) that is fine alhumdulillah, you’ll just be slightly limited as these are like precious jewels which are rare to find.
“A woman is normally sought as a wife for her wealth, beauty, nobility, or religiousness (adherence to Islam), so choose a religious woman and you will prosper.” (Muslim)
“A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a loser.”
Sahih Bukhari
ABU ABDULLAH AZZAM
And Allah knows best
HELEN
Asalamu Alaikum
yes indeed Greek Muslims are rare so i have not got my hopes in marrying one, although it would be nice
Helen from London
muslimah@live.co.uk
MUHAMMAD HUMZA
Assalamu ‘alaikum
I so disappointed
Where were all the Greek sisters when I was looking high and low for them.
As for compatibility, it isn’t recommended for incompatible couples to marry. Compatibility is understood as being of the same nationality socio/economic status as well as level of piety. explanation coming soon Insha Allah…..
GREEK MUSLIM
Alhamdulillah that we have a place to gather now then.
Isn’t there another element of compatibility? Attractiveness and goals in life? Waiting for your explanation.
MUHAMMAD HUMZA
The reasons being to eliminate all potential for divorce. The idea is, people have a threshold of tolerance which is defined by what they expect or even what they always thought was normal in a relationship ( In Sudan it’s normal for woman to spit in public, so that’s fine by them).
For an individual to be pushed beyond their threshold will result in release of tension, or his expressing his his frustration directly or indirectly. The deen on the other hand provides a reason to tolerate beyond the normal limit, that is, we tolerate them for the greater good of maintaining the relationship and ultimately sending Shaitan back where he came from.
As for looks, I don’t know or haven’t heard what the fuqaha have to say about that as far as it’s legal significance. In my opinion beauty comes from within and is weighed on the same scales of Iman. In other words only the pious have a share in beauty, everything else is superficial or an illusion of the real thing.
Wa salam