Comments on: When Nabeel met Nadia…an islamic wedding part 2

By: Xenia

Xenia — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 05:22:30 +0000

Subhanallah. Islam does not tell us to change our culture and that’s where “bil maroof”comes in and makes Islam easy to follow, no matter from which part of the world you come from and no matter what the culture is. So eg in Greece we would have a nice traditional Greek wedding with all the trimmings.Maybe something like the film. No need to mention which. lol
Why I commented on the extravaganzas is because people feel this pressure to spend and even if they can not afford it. Islamically there is no such pressure. It can be simple and legal even if you have nothing or very little to spend. i suppose is a kind of social pressure to spend and compete. I have attended both situations. mega extravaganzas and simple ceremonies in the mosque. For me it was the simple that captured my heart. A little Qur’an reading in the mosque, a small khutba (lecture) with sound advice for the young couple and their relatives and a very simple meal.
Regarding the proika matter I remember the pressure dads had when a new daughter was born in the family in Greece. It goes back a few years though.But Islam 1400 ago app made this proika matter and the financial pressure on the girl’s family extinct. I remember my dad in those days how he was under pressure to get me and my sister some kind of property for our future. I think we were only 5 and 10 at the time. The struggle was on for him. What for? However what we both value and remember him by is not the proika but his strive to give both me and my sister an education. And Islam says ” educate your daughters”. This is the best proika one can give their daughters.

By: ImanK

ImanK — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 01:37:31 +0000

2. Customs

I agree with what you are saying about extravaganza, wasting or doing haram things during weddings. There is something interesting I learned when studying fiqh (Islamic jurisprudence) and that is that “bil maroof” or “with what is approved/acceptable/customary/good in that society” actually has a part of Islamic law.

To simplify, in this case of marriage, it is acceptable and good to do it according to the norms of the society you live in. That is why you see Muslim wedding in Malaysia would be totally different than Muslim weddings in Qatar which would be totally different from Muslim weddings in Greece.

Let’s say in Qatar (where many Qataris are filthy rich LOL ), they might spend 40 000 euro on a wedding but for them, they are rich so that doesn’t seem like a lot and they are not wasting, where as If I spend 40 000 euro, woooowwwwwwww.

So, my point is, “maroof” has its place in Islamic law.

By: ImanK

ImanK — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 01:30:43 +0000

Thanks Xenia for sharing your perspectives on Islamic marriages. A few observations:

1. Dowry:

I noticed in the Greek tradition, it’s customary for the bride to give the “prika” or dowry but if you sit back and think about it, it really should be the other way around as Islam dictates since men are responsible for financially maintaining their wives.