Visiting Greece now as a Muslim – I was nervous and excited

 By Stefanie Danopoulos, 28 years old

The last summer I visited Greece was in 1999. That time I was already reading about Islam and did a lot of thinking. When I came back to Holland I decided to convert to Islam. And after a few months I started to wear the veil, hijab.

I lost contact with my family for almost two years. When I had my first child the contact slowly became better.

My parents always told me that it was not possible to go back to Greece with my hijab. And my biggest problem was that I don’t speak Greek.

My father is from Greece (Korinthos) and my mother is from Holland. I was born and raised in Holland but we traveled to Greece every year in the summer. I think that it is really important that you can explain to the people in their language why you dress that way.

A few months ago we had a conference in Holland and then I met Anna, a Greek Muslim sister. I was so happy and I even took her to my mother’s house to show her that there are Muslims in Greece. My mother was very surprised.

A few months later, they had a meeting in Greece for the Muslims Association of Greece. My parents and sisters were all in Greece and Anna told me that I had to come. And I told my parents I had plans to come and they said that I was welcome. So I booked my ticket and finally after 11 years I came back to Greece.

I was very nervous but also very excited.

The first two days I spent at the conference in Athens meeting other Greek Muslims, alhamdulillah! I had a very nice time.

And I thought that everybody would look at me in a bad way but they did not even care. 

Then I met my family in Ancient Korinthos. I was very, very nervous about the reactions. When I arrived some friends of my parents were waiting for me. They were very happy to see me and one friend of my father asked if I came from dancing because of my clothes. So my mother told him that it is a new fashion. I spoke to some relatives and nobody said crazy things.

I noticed that most of them speak English, so thank God, that was very nice. I didn’t really have the chance to tell them something about Islam because I was there only one day and my parents wanted to show me everything. They were so happy that I came.

I had a great time. And, God willing, next year I will go back to Greece with my husband and kids.

I spent my last day in the island of Andros. It was very beautiful and I even swam in the sea.  Also the people there were very nice and I did not feel left out or something.

In Holland, people look at you in a different way, but I think that it is because of the negative media attention. So most people in Holland see Islam in a bad way and they feel threatened by veils and beards and long dresses. In Greece I felt very relaxed.

I had a great experience and I will go back again for holiday, God willing!

The right to dress – does it suit your eye?

The ban on the niqab violates my human rights.

People talk about rights as stated in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights and how important they are for all of us, or at least for some.

So… you can ask me a simple question, fair enough that is right we all have the right to express, dress and behave the way we like or aspire. But where do we get inspired from?

Every year in the UK there is a festival called Infest. Alternative electronic music fans get together once a year for couple of days to celebrate their music choice. The first time I saw them I thought they were freaks, but no they were normal everyday people dressed the way they wanted to express their own choice. In many cases they were executives in major international corporations. I used to have a friend – she was punk.  People were staring at her while she was walking but she couldn’t care less. It was her choice and no one could ever judge her for that. It was her right and nobody banned it.

Society is built on a base of differences, but who defines the differences we have and the acceptance we get from our fellow man?

A few years ago I used to dress with miniskirts and ’sexy’ tops. Sometimes I got looks of admiration, sometimes looks of disgust and many more looks were judgmental. By dressing ’sexy’, and sexy can be defined in many different ways, you are perceived as easy or with low morals.

Now I have chosen to dress modest and to wear a scarf. It is my choice, but yet again I’m perceived to be oppressed.

Why? Simply because of the way I dress. So what defines how I can dress?

Clothes are a way of expressing ourselves, how we feel and what we believe. How we would like people to deal with us. Our clothes are the first impression we give to people and the boundaries we set between us and them.  For me, simply, it’s a right. But why then does society or politicians have to choose for me and forbid me to express myself in the way Ι find most appropriate for me?

Wearing hijab, niqab or abaya (a dress) is a choice of a woman – not oppression. Oppression is when you forbid a woman to wear what she feels like just because it doesn’t suit your eye. So where is my human right…?

 

 
photo credit: Sylvain Labeste

My fashion and my hijab: Greek Muslimahs interviewed

Source:  Veto newspaper

© Translation Muslim Association of Greece

Διαβάστε στα Eλληνικά

It is not only one piece of cloth. The veil that envelopes the faces and the bodies of Muslims, is a symbol of Islam, so charged as the military conflicts that have broken out in the name of the hijab in many European countries. Lately, especially after the ban on headscarves in public places in France, there are more women who started wearing it. The global game industry is aware of this and few months ago, Barbie wore a scarf as well. Religious, political, revolutionary, feminist symbol? Muslim women living in Athens reveal what lies behind their hijab, as they call it.

 

Rabab

The hand of the photographer is on top of the table, with the coffees, tightened by Nashua hand, “I’m wearing gloves. It’s the only way I can touch another man.” Her daughter Rabab is smiling, holding her cup of coffee, smiling and with apologetic. “Sorry I’m not allowed,” as she declines the handshake. On her right shoulder is her baby sleeping. On her left shoulder her hijab falls until her waist. In fact they are to scarves, one pink and one black, both, elaborately braided together-the result is reminiscent braided hair. She was born in Greece, lives in Keratsini and every day, she wears her hijab in different style- which she has copied from a satellite hair channel. She has visited her home country, Egypt, only few times. She has heard though that there are many ‘hijab hair salons.’

Rabab has been wearing the hijab for the past 10 years. She wanted to take it off on her wedding day but her husband didn’t agree. Despite the meaning of her name ‘white cloud’, in her life there are many black clouds. At the age of 26, she must choose between her hijab or her career. “I was working in a telecommunications company. One day, my manager called me into his office and offered me the supervisor’s position. Under one condition: to take off my hijab. I couldn’t take the job wearing hijab. ‘At least wear a wig,’ he told me. So I had to resign.”

In her workplace today – she is an immigration consultant for Athens council- she wears her hijab without having any problems. “I can feel people’s eyes on me when I go to places or use public transportation. Most of them are staring. A few days ago, I was getting off the bus, when an elderly man hit me with his walking stick, so I would hurry.  With his walking stick! Is that possible? I was born here. And I am not taking my hijab off. It is a respect to me and my religion.”

 

Nashua 

Nashua never put pressure on her daughter to wear hijab. “She did it on her own, when she became a little lady.” It came to my mind the little girls with hijabs who were playing under their brothers’ eye, just outside the Libyan school on Kifisias boulevard.

“They are ignorant of Islam when they wear hijabs to kids in primary school,” Says Mrs. Anna Stamou, Marketing and Public Relations of the Muslim community. “A Muslim woman is wearing the hijab so she doesn’t attract attention, the paradox here is that this way she does. If we go out with a mini skirt nobody would look at us. Nakedness doesn’t evoke.” says her mother Nasoua, she has been living in Greece for the past 35 years. She assures me that under her impressive red hijab, which is fastened with a golden broch, has her hair groomed.

As she continues, “I go very often to the hairdresser. At home we don’t wear hijab. You never give up on yourself. I put facial creams and dye my hair, so my husband likes me, but above all so I please myself.”

 

Habiba

Habiba means ‘loved one.’ Habiba was the favourite student of her teachers in Paris. She arrived there from Morocco, to study fashion design. “Paris then was more hijab friendly,” she says, analyses the family tree of Sarkozi, concluding that he has roots in Marolo Jews from his grandparents. Because of her profession- she is a fashion designer in Athens and Paris-“I do not see any particular problem. I have contact with people who have an open mind and get on easily with scarf. Sometimes women say to me, ‘Come now, you are so progressive, you have to be free.’ But I am free. The scarf is my choice. It was never imposed on me. Not even from my husband.” And there is no doubt about that. Anas Habibas husband completes ”I have overcome some crashes. He grew up in Greece, he is from Argentina, but adopted by Greek parents before becoming a Muslim on his own initiative, he was baptised Christian and was called Anastasis. ”When I was little, I was the alter [boy] in church,” he says, laughing.

On his hand is tattooed an alfa capital. “Yes I am an anarchist,” he answers just when he realized that I was looking at it, he listens to rock music, smokes and is a big fan of Jimi Hendrix. ”Jimbo, come here,” he shouts from the living room in the middle of the house and to our surprise, emerging as a tornado, holding a large cat, is his three-year old daughter, wearing a black ribbon on her hair. ”Look my little Rocker,” boasts Anas. “Last year she asked to wear the hijab on her own. She sees her mother and she wanted too,” he says and tells us the story of young Holy, which was adopted from Morocco. Holy, grows up in a home with strong Arab elements, bright colours and smells of Moroccan tea and has her little prayer rug in the mosque built by her dad, in the basement of their house. Answering a question on when their daughter will wear hijab, they started laughing. ”She is such a character that she might never put it on!” says Habiba. ”Everybody does what they like. Many try to hide behind a scarf, to show that they are good people. Like Christians who go to church and start prostrating, looking around to see who is watching them. “I don’t blame hijab. It is just a fabric,” Habiba continues,”a fabric that frightens and unfortunately has baptized terrorism and Al Qaeda. We are Hijab Frappe. It means that the scarf goes everywhere.”

Habiba doesn’t drink frappe, “because it bothers me but I go to the movies, theatre, and I enjoy art as a hobby. I like little taverns.” She is also an amateur actress. After Easter, she will star for a second year on the show “Hijab Frappe”, based on true stories of women. She opens the script book and starts reading: “The hijab is a symbol, no it’s not a symbol, it is responsibility. It is my faith, what I am, what I am not. It is mandatory, it’s optional, it is the law but not here. I wear the hijab for me, for God, for my husband. It is freedom, protection, mystery.”

 

Marina 

Her parents reaction when they heard she will become Muslim “brought trouble at first, but [they] realized that the path was purely my choice and was not influenced and accustomed. What they cannot get used to is the hijab. They are all hesitant with the scarf. The fundamentals of Islam lie beneath. There are Muslim women who do not wear hijab. The substance is not the picture,” says Marina, a Greek who embraced Islam three years ago. Her husband, who she met later, is Palestinian and they have a little boy. ”I became a Muslim from pure curiosity. Reading, I began to realize that Islam covered gaps that could not be covered by my previous religion. Half a year later, I wore the scarf, as required by the Quran. Nobody pushed me; nobody forced me,” says 26 year old girl who studied economics in Aristotle University. ”Since I wore the scarf my friends remain the same because they know me. On the street, they think I am a foreigner. Nobody imagines that I am Greek and only if they hear my accent they suspect it and start asking questions.”

 

Despina Papadopoulou, Assistant Professor in the Department of Social Policy Panteion University

“The headscarf issue is complicated and complex, so we must be careful. As the government attempts to limit religious freedom, the more resistance will be present. If we can express an opinion towards the prohibition of the headscarf or not, a safe criterion is the separation of public and private life. It must not affect the public order of society. And the state should not interfere with private life. Any form of religion must exist, in case of course, it doesn’t affected the person. On the other hand there is a military conflict: Who governs the existence of the hijab? The State or the family? This conflict leads nowhere. Especially if the government draws its legitimacy from religion. If actions are taken for the ban of the headscarf, it will hardly be implemented. The restriction is a simple solution to an issue as so critical.”
The trend is derived from feminist movements, in which any symbol of discrimination and equality in society is racist in nature. In Europe and America, it appears as Islamophobia.

 

—

Translated by Elena Nikolova-Pouliasi

Event: Panel Discussion on Hijab on Feb. 3

Event:

Panel Discussion on HIJAB- the Islamic Headscarf

“The Hijab:

Symbol of Oppression or Expression of Faith?

A Right or a Threat?”

Start Time: Wednesday, February 3 at 6:00pm

End Time: Wednesday, February 3 at 8:00pm

Where: Ianos Bookshop Cafe

 

Η ομάδα 53 Αθήνας της Διεθνούς Αμνηστίας διοργανώνει εκδήλωση συζήτηση στον ΙΑΝΟ (Σταδίου 24) την Τετάρτη 3 Φλεβάρη στις 6μμ, με θέμα:

“Μαντήλα:

καταπίεση ή πίστη, δικαίωμα ή απειλή;”

Εκτός από την εκπρόσωπο της Διεθνούς Αμνηστίας, μικρές εισηγήσεις θα κάνουν:

• η αγγλοϊρανή σκηνοθέτιδα Shirin Youssefian Maanian
• η δημοσιογράφος Κατερίνα Οικονομάκου και
• η Άννα Στάμου, υπεύθυνη δημοσίων σχέσεων της Μουσουλμανικής Ένωσης Ελλάδας.

Στη διάρκεια της εκδήλωσης, θα παιχτεί ένα μικρό απόσπασμα από το έργο “Hijab Frappe΄!”, που πρωτοπαρουσιάστηκε πέρισυ την άνοιξη σε περιορισμένες παραστάσεις και έχει σκηνοθετήσει η Shirin, και θα επακολουθήσει συζήτηση.

This whole burqa thing is getting out of control

 

Canada has now caught on to this virus of wiping away the ’freedom of religion’ card in the name of “we want to liberate you”.  We don’t know you, we don’t want to know you, in fact, we wish you were wiped off of the face of the earth, but we want to ‘liberate’ you. 

“The Muslim Canadian Congress called on the federal government to prohibit the two garments in order to prevent women from covering their faces in public – a practice the group said has no place in a society that supports gender equality.”  (Excerpt, The Canadian Press, Toronto)

Who the heck is The Muslim Canadian Congress?  The Canadian Muslim community certainly hasn’t heard of them.  And when I checked out their website, it was no surprise to me that they were “progressive Muslims” a.k.a. Muslims who have no scholarly knowledge about Islam who want to erradicate the rulings of Allah in order to “liberalize” Muslims. 

What makes me upset about this whole ‘burqa’ issue is that’s it’s just all media propoganda.  I wish we would all just cut through the junk and say what’s really going on.  If a government is going to make a law that prohibits something, don’t they need substatial evidence? Hmm, let’s see.

• How many authentic Islamic scholars did they interview to find out if the niqab is actually a religious tenant or cultural practice?
• How many authentic niqabis did they interview to find out if they were forced to wear the niqab or do it because they believe it’s a religious practice?
• How many cases of ‘oppression due to forced niqab’ do they have recorded in the courts?

Hmm, let’s see….. none, none and …… (surprise) none.

And that’s not all.  The media is doing an excellent job of taking false statements and spreading them.   Do you really want to know what the majority of the global Muslim community thinks about this issue?  Here it goes:

First of all, who the heck wears a burqa?!  No one, except for some women in Afghanistan.  That garment is part of their culture, not ours.  Religiously, the term is niqab, meaning face veil.  It is part of the religion of Islam.  Yes, I will say it again.  It is part of the religion of Islam.  It is not a cultural practice.  How do I know this?  The wives of Prophet Muhammad all wore it.  All authentic Islamic scholars will give you substantial evidence that it is a religious practice.  Is it compulsory for every women to wear it?  The majority of the scholars will say (based on proof that is outside of the scope of this article) that it is permissible to wear it but not compulsory.

What will average Muslims tell you about the niqab?  They will say that the hijab is compulsory but the niqab is not and they do not prefer the niqab for themselves.  However, they wholeheartedly understand the proofs that it is permissible in Islam to wear and those who choose to wear it have the “freedom of religion” to do so. 

It is very, very rare to find niqabis who are forced to wear it.  All the niqabis I’ve met wear it because they want to and because they believe it’s a religious practice and they do it out of their own free will.  All of them feel liberated by doing it.   These people are your average citizens who are peaceful and caring neighbours, who care about the betterment of their children, their society and their country.   They just happen to wear an extra piece of  1′x1′ of fabric around their face.

So, again, Canadian government, French government, why in the world are you oppressing our sisters?

Note:  Update

CAIR-CAN publishes an official press release on the issue of the Canadian ban of the niqab:

Statement by Canadian Islamic Scholars and Mainstream Muslim Organizations Reaffirms Freedom of Religious Expression
http://www.caircan.ca/itn_more.php?id=3056_0_2_0_C

How Greece welcomes its female Muslims

Source: IslamOnline.net

 

As the first step in our journey to discover the European Muslim women’s opportunities and challenges that are hindering them from integrating into Europe’s different communities, IslamOnline.net (IOL)’s European Muslims Page is quoting Anna Stamou on the status of Greek Muslim women.

Name: Anna Stamou
Profession: Anna Stamou is one of the National Board Members of Muslim Association of Greece (MAG)
Country: Greece

 

IslamOnline.net (IOL): How do you evaluate the Muslim women’s situation in Europe?

Mrs. Stamou: I believe that the Muslim women in Europe have many opportunities to succeed in their fields of interest. However, they still face more challenges since the European atmosphere is not Muslim-friendly, though Europe is a tolerant continent.

IOL: What are the major problems facing Muslim women in the West? And how do you suggest they should react to these problems?

Mrs.Stamou: In this context, I recall a Greek saying “The Muslim woman has to prove that she is not an elephant,” this means that she must change the stereotypes that perceive the Muslim women as being oppressed, hidden behind their veils, brain washed, and with no free will and no rights.

After a Muslim woman manages to prove all these stereotypes wrong, then she has to encounter all major problems that any ordinary European woman has: starting with unemployment and having less career opportunities than men.

However, with faith and high educational level, a Muslim woman is able to cope with all challenges in life and to reflect her true reality.

IOL: What is the status of Muslim women in Greece? Are there any key figures who occupy high positions in society?

Mrs. Stamou:  Greece is divided into two main Muslim communities that rarely communicate. The smaller but the older community is the Greek Muslim minority of Thrace while the bigger but newer is the Muslim immigrants’ community. The later live all over Greece. The Greek converts mingle with the immigrant and mostly with the Arabic-speaking community.

The majority of the immigrant women in Greece are not active, especially for those women who try to provide Islamic education for other women or for their children. The successful women in Thrace have (in the majority) weak religious conscience and they try to manage their lives showing up their secular face.

Though we have some Greek Muslim women working in politics, they don’t wear hijab and they have never demanded any rights for Muslims. They pursue only their local claims (which are really a lot). The active women are the Greek converts who maintain their Greek culture and practice Islam freely.

IOL: What are your contributions in favor of the Muslim women in your country?

Mrs.Stamou: Since I became a Muslim, all my focus was on providing Islamic information, material, and inspiration for fellow Muslims. I started with publishing books and an Islamic cultural newspaper then my efforts included supporting other converts.

Now my responsibilities increased since I joined the Greeks Rethink team. I’m also responsible for the marketing and public relations of the Muslim Association of Greece.
I wish I could have the opportunity to organize a supporting program only for Muslim women, but so far this is not feasible because most of the Muslim women in my area have to reach the first integration step which is to learn Greek.

The Ministry of Education and the local authorities have launched very useful programs for teaching Greek to immigrants. Definitely we support those programs and encourage every Muslim woman who does not speak Greek to go and attend one of these programs. We are looking forward for the coming steps.

In fact, my team and I have many dreams and plans for Muslims in Greece. I strongly believe that all our activities will benefit my beloved country, because we do love Greece and Islam; an irresistible combination!

Elena Pouliasi: my journey to Islam

The experiences of Greek student after her decision to accept Islam

Source:  Kathimerini.gr 

Διαβάστε στα Ελληνικά

 

“Shall I write your name?” “Yes write it.” “And your parents?” “Eventually they will get to know the truth. I did not fall into drugs!”

Twenty-three year old today, Elena Pouliasi is young and beautiful girl – you can see that even under her hijab. It has been less than a year since her decision to accept Islam, decision that cost her enough friends and posed the risk of rupture with her family.” This is my truth though,” says to “K”.

For the past three years, Elena is in England for studies. In her neighbourhood and university, Muslim population outclass in number. “Like most Greeks, I had too grown with the mentality that the Muslims are strict and oppressed people. I saw women with headscarves and I thought that they do not have a life. But the people I met there were quite different.” Her two best friends in London were from Saudi Arabia – she describes them as “incredibly intelligent and talented.” They naturally wore the headscarf. Elena could not understand and neither wanted to challenge their religion. Herself from a little girl believed in God. “I began to read about Islam in order to convince them, to prove that in the subject of their religion they are misguided.”

She began to read the Quran in his Greek translation. “I began to realize that I had learned it… differently. I saw, as an example, love and respect for the women and mothers. Almost unconsciously I stopped drinking and eating pork. I did not know what the truth was and until I find it, I decided to remain open at all. This process lasted roughly eight months. “I lived as a Muslim. I was careful where I go out, I was more careful with the clothes I wore; I stopped swearing, and became more generous and polite.”

On May 15^th she officially became a Muslim. The subject of hijab worried her. In the beginning, she wore it outside, but used to remove the scarf when she entered her office (alongside her studies in International Business and Management, she also runs a translation office). “I did not want the behaviour of my colleagues to change towards me. But now I wear hijab all the time. Why? Because it makes me feel better. I feel secure”.

Personal cost

Her decision did not come without personal cost. “It was something that affected my family too. Even though I have not announced it, my mother understands that I have changed. I lost also many friends. The only consolation is that they were not real friends, or if they were they would like to be with Elena as she really is, not only with Elena that used to go out on Friday night and get drunk.”

It is not that she does not understand them. “Most people have a tendency to believe that to become a Muslim you must have been brainwashed.

However, nobody put the Quran in my hands, it was my choice.

They say to me, “but you were born Greek!” I say to them, “but I am Greek.” Becoming Muslim does not mean that my life is over and that I should devote myself in reading Quran, bear children and become fanatical. On the contrary, I get angry with the Muslims who are extremists.” Before we close,” she points out, “They will ask you for sure, if I became Muslim because I fell in love.  Answer them that I did not. Most women become Muslims before they meet their prince.”

Many are baptized Christian Orthodox

In www.greeksrethink.com, the global online community of Greek Muslims, you find enough testimonies of Greek Orthodox that at some point made the conscious decision of embracing Islam. Most are Greeks of abroad and, in their narrations, describe rather with gloomy colours the way that they were faced by their families. “This is an experiential, hard road to change your religion and which in any case should be treated with respect,” says in the “K” professor of Comparative Philosophy in University of Athens Mr. Marios Begzos. In Greece, however, we are open only in words; instead there is great difficulty in the assimilation of the ‘other’. Especially Muslims, who in our conscience are acknowledged as Turks therefore there are negative records in our subconscious.

The natural routes between the two religions have two directions. Many Muslims every year are baptized Christian Orthodox in a church of our country, although as emphasized in the “K” Chairman of the Board Movement Citizens’ Coexistence and Communication in the Aegean Mr. Stratis Potha, in most cases the reason is marriage.”For Muslims especially, that is something not easy to reveal to their family.

Jihad: my post-conversion struggle

Ramadan 2009 Timetable for Greece

Jihad: my post-conversion struggle

By Adam Christodoulou

Read in Greek

Everyone, non-Muslim or Muslim goes through personal struggles throughout their life. These struggles in Islam are know as jihad. Allah (swt) has designed these jihad for us to test our faith. As we go through these jihads, we have to remain steady in our love for Allah (swt) and Islam.  Today, I want share a personal jihad with you that I went through recently.

A week ago, my wife and I were walking down the street talking about how we miss alcohol. Then, I was thinking to myself, why don’t we buy some liquor for tonight and only tonight? I told my wife that we are going to the store to buy alcohol.

She was like “Ok, we’ll need to buy some after a rough day at work and school.” I am like, “I agree. We need some, however, we will only drink tonight.” She replied, “Ok, let’s do it.” We head towards the store.

Meanwhile, in my head the good was fighting the evil. The good side was saying, “Adam, Allah is watching you. Alcohol is haram you can go to hellfire.” The evil side was saying, “Adam Allah will forgive you. He will understand”.  I saw the store and told my wife we can’t do this. We are Muslim and we can’t drink. Al hamduillah, we come through this alhamdu lillah. We walk away from the store Alhamdu lillah.

During the same week we went through another challenge (jihad). My wife wanted to take off the hijab and I was going to go back to the Roman Catholic faith. During that week, we were having religious problems with my family in Greece and personal problems as well.

I just reached my limits with all the problems so I thought to solve all my problems and decided on a solution to go back to the Roman Catholic faith. However, my Muslim side of me told before I do this, I will reach out to all my Muslims brothers and sisters, Greek or not.

Alhamdu lillah, I reached out to all the Muslim brothers and sisters by posting “Leaving Islam?” on facebook as my status. Afterwards, a got more than a dozen message and emails from Greek Muslims and Muslims across the world alhamdu lillah. I felt that I had the support that I need, however, the local support was smaller and more difficult to find. Khair it’s all good.  After emailing sisters and brothers and talking to them over the phone we got through the jihad. The most important thing that I did was I turned to Allah (swt) and ask for his forgiveness and his support. Alhamdu lillah it arrived. We are proud Muslims.

Jihads will always come at us at the worst time of our lives, however, if we turn to Allah (swt) inshallah we will get through the jihad. In addition, we can also turn to our brothers and sisters for support. We are here for each other and we all go through the same struggles. Whether it is the wearing the hijab, drinking or other haram acts. We need to stay on the right path for the love of Allah (swt).

Adam Christodoulou

–

Note: Jihad literally means struggle and the best struggle is conquering personal struggles within yourself.

When Nabeel met Nadia…an islamic wedding part 2

Read in Greek/ Διαβαστε στα Ελληνικα

For the Islamic marriage to be legal there are certain  conditions to be fulfilled.

Narrated Uqba bin Amir: Allah’s apostle said, “From among all the conditions which you have to fulfill, the conditions which make it legal i.e. the  marriage  contract has the greatest right to be fulfilled.” (Book #50, Hadith #882)Bukhari

1) The  Mahr to be agreed upon and paid.

A Muslim husband has to agree a financial deal with the prospective wife before marriage. This money present is known as the mahr, and is a payment made to the bride which is hers to keep and use as she wishes.

The reason is that even if the girl has nothing, she becomes a bride with property of her own. If the bride later seeks a divorce which the husband does not wish for, she is allowed to return him the money and seek what is known as a khula divorce.

At the time of the Prophet (pbuh), a man wanted to get married and he had no property to offer for mahr……. When Allah’s Apostle saw him going, he ordered that he be called back. When he came, the prophet said, “How much of the Qur’an do you know?” He said, “I know such sura and such sura,” counting them. The prophet said, “Do you know them by heart?” He replied, “Yes.” The prophet said, “Go, I marry her to you for that much of the Qur’an which you have.”  (Book #62, Hadith #24) Bukhari

2)  The nikah

The actual Muslim wedding is known as nikah. It is a simple ceremony.

According to sharee’ah, marriage is done through the contract between the two spouses, with the consent of the woman’s guardian and in the presence of two witnesses. Such a contract is complete even if there is no celebration or party.

There are certain things which are basic to all Muslim marriages. Marriages have to be declared publicly. They should never be undertaken in secret. The publicity is usually achieved by having a large feast, or walimah - a party specifically for the purpose of announcing publicly that the couple are married and entitled to each other.

They invite people to a feast on this occasion as an expression of joy and to publicize the marriage, all of these are things which are mustahabb (encouraged) on the occasion of marriage. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Announce marriage.” (Narrated by Ahmad, 4/5; classed as saheeh by al-Haakim, 2/200; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 1072).

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf when he got married, “Give a feast, even with one sheep.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1943; Muslim, 3475).

So this is all. If we look at the prophetic teachings  no extravaganzas were encouraged or performed at the weddings.

There are ahadith that prescribe   the  prophet’s(saw) own  walimahs.

Narrated Anas: A banquet of bread and meat was held on the occasion of the marriage of the prophet to Zainab bint Jahsh. I was sent to invite the people (to the banquet), and so the people started coming (in groups); they would eat and then leave. Another batch would come, eat and leave (Book #60, Hadith #316) Bukhari

But going back to the Islamic weddings of our times.

Instead of having a simple ceremony just praying and asking for Allah’s blessingsaccording to the prophetic teachings and examples, we often have blaring music, waste of food, money, free mixing between the sexes, relaxed hijab rules and immense financial burdens.

May Allah protect us all from abandoning the Qur’an and the sunnah of our beloved prophet (saw) and grant us the wisdom to obey Him.

Womens’ rights in Islam

I have been often asked, what makes a woman born in the West accept a religion like Islam that oppresses women?

And I totally sympathise with the questioners as I had the same questions before I got to know and accept Islam as my religion and my way of life.

The only thing I could see in the days before Islam was the ” poor” fully covered Muslim women subservient to their husbands and slaves to their duties as wives and mothers .

As a lot of people  sadly still do today, I had my own ideas and misconceptions about  Islam and the treatment of women in Islam in particular.

“Oh no,” I was thinking. “I would never accept that!.”

The first thing most people pick on is the women’s Islamic code of  dress . How many times have you heard “ Why does Islam degrade the women by keeping them behind the veil ?”

And  the status of women in Islam is often the target of attacks also in the secular media. The hijab  is considered as an example of “subjugation” of women under Islamic law.

People often forget the history of earlier civilizations and how the status of women in those eras was very low.

And then I read the Holy Qur’an and everything started making sense.

Regarding the veil:

“And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that they should not display their beauty  and ornaments except what (most ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands , their fathers, their husbands’ fathers, their sons….” (Surah An-Nur 24:31 )

Allah SWT  in his infinite wisdom and for the protection of the women , morals and values prescribes the Veil.

The Holy Qur’an has a lot to say for women and to women.

In fact, the Qur’an has two surahs (chapters) dedicated to women: surah Al-Nisa’a (4) and surah Maryam (19).

I was surprised to read that Hawwa (Eve), the wife of Adam, was not solely responsible for the original sin but jointly and equally responsible with her husband.  Equally she was forgiven as well as her husband  by Allah SWT after their repentance.

In the Holy Qur’an, there are women mentioned, some who were true believers in difficult circumstances such as the wife of Pharaoh and Maryam (May Allah be pleased with them) the mother of Jesus (pbuh), and there were also women like the wife of Nuh (Noah) who betrayed her husband and is held up along with the wife of Lot as an example of a disbeliever (Al Qur’an 66:10-12).

And all through the Qur’an we find passages that make it obvious that the women are equal to men. Equal but of course different in their roles.

Islam forbade the Arab custom of their time to bury their female infants as they were considered an embarrassment to the male egos of the time.

In the Holy Quran we find that it is good deeds and awareness of Allah which make the believer, male or female, noble in the sight of Allah.

“Indeed the noblest of you in the sight of Allah is the most pious.” (Al Qur’an 49:13 )and

“Whoever does right, whether male or female, (all) such will enter the garden. ”(Al-Qur‘an .in 40:40:)

The works of male and female are of equal value and each will receive the due reward for what they do:

“ Never will I suffer to be lost the work of any of you, be male or female.. (Al Qur’an 3:195)

“Whoever works righteousness, man or woman, and has faith, verily to him will We give a new life that is good and pure, and We will bestow on such their reward according to their actions. ”(Al Qur’an 16:97)

The same duties are incumbent on men and women as regards their faith:

“For Muslim men and women - for believing men and women, for devout men and women, for true men and women, for men and women who are patient and constant, for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women who give in charity, for men and women who fast (and deny themselves), for men and women who guard their chastity, and for men and women who engage much in God’s praise – for them has God prepared forgiveness and great reward.” (Al Qur’an 33:35)

And these are just some examples.

Also the Islamic law makes no demand that women should confine themselves to household duties. In fact the early Muslim women were found in all walks of life. The first wife of the Prophet, mother of all his surviving children, was a businesswoman. In fact, the Prophet (pbuh) when he received the first revelation, he  ran frightened to his wife for comfort and asked her to cover him with a blanket. This shows how our Noble Prophet (pbuh) valued, and trusted his beloved wife Khadija( May Allah be pleased with her).

So as  I got to know more about Islam, and I found  out more and more, I established that a Muslimahs could have all the following rights:

- personal respect,

- respectable married status,

- legitimacy and maintenance for their children,

- the right to negotiate marriage terms of their choice,

- to refuse any marriage that does not please them,

- the right to obtain divorce from their husbands, even on the grounds that they can’t stand them

- custody of their children after divorce, and expect support from the absent father (maintenance)

- independent property of their own,

- the right and duty to obtain education,

- the right to work if they need or want it,

- equality of reward for equal deeds,

- the right to participate fully in public life and have their voices heard by those in power,

and much more.

What other religion, political theory, or philosophy has offered such a comprehensive package?

So this is just a brief explanation of why, I as a Greek female, had no problem accepting my position as a woman in Islam.

Not only I had no problem but I was and I will always be  eternally grateful for  Allah showing me the way and getting to know Islam.

I am pleased with  Allah (SWT)  as my Lord , Islam as my religion and Mohammad (S.A.W) as my Prophet.

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