When Nabeel met Nadia…an islamic wedding part 2

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For the Islamic marriage to be legal there are certain  conditions to be fulfilled.

Narrated Uqba bin Amir: Allah’s apostle said, “From among all the conditions which you have to fulfill, the conditions which make it legal i.e. the  marriage  contract has the greatest right to be fulfilled.” (Book #50, Hadith #882)Bukhari

1) The  Mahr to be agreed upon and paid.

A Muslim husband has to agree a financial deal with the prospective wife before marriage. This money present is known as the mahr, and is a payment made to the bride which is hers to keep and use as she wishes.

The reason is that even if the girl has nothing, she becomes a bride with property of her own. If the bride later seeks a divorce which the husband does not wish for, she is allowed to return him the money and seek what is known as a khula divorce.

At the time of the Prophet (pbuh), a man wanted to get married and he had no property to offer for mahr……. When Allah’s Apostle saw him going, he ordered that he be called back. When he came, the prophet said, “How much of the Qur’an do you know?” He said, “I know such sura and such sura,” counting them. The prophet said, “Do you know them by heart?” He replied, “Yes.” The prophet said, “Go, I marry her to you for that much of the Qur’an which you have.”  (Book #62, Hadith #24) Bukhari

2)  The nikah

The actual Muslim wedding is known as nikah. It is a simple ceremony.

According to sharee’ah, marriage is done through the contract between the two spouses, with the consent of the woman’s guardian and in the presence of two witnesses. Such a contract is complete even if there is no celebration or party.

There are certain things which are basic to all Muslim marriages. Marriages have to be declared publicly. They should never be undertaken in secret. The publicity is usually achieved by having a large feast, or walimah - a party specifically for the purpose of announcing publicly that the couple are married and entitled to each other.

They invite people to a feast on this occasion as an expression of joy and to publicize the marriage, all of these are things which are mustahabb (encouraged) on the occasion of marriage. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Announce marriage.” (Narrated by Ahmad, 4/5; classed as saheeh by al-Haakim, 2/200; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 1072).

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf when he got married, “Give a feast, even with one sheep.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1943; Muslim, 3475).

So this is all. If we look at the prophetic teachings  no extravaganzas were encouraged or performed at the weddings.

There are ahadith that prescribe   the  prophet’s(saw) own  walimahs.

Narrated Anas: A banquet of bread and meat was held on the occasion of the marriage of the prophet to Zainab bint Jahsh. I was sent to invite the people (to the banquet), and so the people started coming (in groups); they would eat and then leave. Another batch would come, eat and leave (Book #60, Hadith #316) Bukhari

But going back to the Islamic weddings of our times.

Instead of having a simple ceremony just praying and asking for Allah’s blessingsaccording to the prophetic teachings and examples, we often have blaring music, waste of food, money, free mixing between the sexes, relaxed hijab rules and immense financial burdens.

May Allah protect us all from abandoning the Qur’an and the sunnah of our beloved prophet (saw) and grant us the wisdom to obey Him.

When Nabeel met Nadia…..an Islamic wedding part 1

Read in Greek/ Διαβαστε στα Ελληνικα

As the postman drops the 10th wedding invitation through the letterbox, I know for sure that the wedding season is here. I am always excited and ready to share in the happiness of the new couple to be and their family.

So ok. The couple, the family and the venues might change but the routine is always the same. Big expenditure on the part of both families. Big competition in the wedding attires, hired limousines, venues , presents for the new couple, photographers, make-up artists, live bands, flower arrangements, wedding menu, jewellery for the bride, presents for his/her families and the list carries on.

On some instances even thrones are in place for the young couple to sit on and be admired. The young couple hardly ever gets asked what they really want for themselves. As per Islamic manner very often they hardly get the chance to converse extensively prior to the wedding. Instead the in-laws get tangled in endless discussions, arrangements and a great expenditure extravaganza. And they also get themselves and the young couple in big financial debts. Debts that might take months or even years ro clear. If you think about it as the average  wedding day lasts between 5-7 hours and if you calculate the cost invlolved you will come to the conclusion that every hour costs hundreds of dollars, euros, pounds.

Instead of saving  for the young couples future money is often burned as fireworks. Oh, I forgot to also mention the fireworks that finish the wedding celebrations with a Bang.

I often think, “What is this all for?” Is there confusion somewhere? Is this an Islamic wedding? Or is it some cultural folklore disguised as an Islamic wedding? How many other people feel and understand the same as me? Are the endless waste of money and effort for the purpose of ensuring true happiness and Allah’s blessings for the young couple? I am afraid not.

This is the most important day of a young couple’s new life together. The day that they need Allah’s blessings more than any other day. That’s the day the families decide to bend ‘the rules’. “Is anybody following the sunnah trying to arrange this event?” I often ask. Not to mention the relatives in attendance that they often get upset with the whole wedding set up.

As Muslims we must follow the Qur’an and the sunnah of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (saws).

Let’s look at the way our prophet lived his life and follow his example. Let’s look at the way he contacted his affairs and what the ceremonies of his own weddings were like.

What an Islamic wedding should be like? Should it be an event to please God or man?

To be continued in part 2 to follow soon.