Greeks Rethink art pick: men at the bottom

Source:  Office Offline

 

What do you think?  Is this true for Muslim families? For Greek families?

 

 

 

 

 

Transform your love life, you won’t regret it

Have you ever been in a room full of people that can’t speak your language?  I’ve had my share.  Usually, we end up making gestures, hand signals, using cut-up words to get our point across.  Ten minutes of that and it’s not fun any more, trust me.

Well, the same goes for love.  Have you ever tried showing love to your spouse, kids or parents and they didn’t care?  Like giving them a gift for Eid and they put it aside and never used it?  Or you just wish that they would give you a compliment that you can cherish, but they never did? 

That just means they don’t speak your primary love language.  So, I finally bought the book for like $3 at Amazon.com.  (Ok, it was a great deal I got for a used book.)  I’ve been reading bits of it for years now but the concept is so good and simple that I just had to read the entire book.  According to Gary Chapman, the author of The Five Love Languages, there are five ways people express love:

• Words of affirmation
• Quality time
• Receiving gifts
• Acts of service
• Physical touch

We all have one that is dominant and that we use to show love to others.   The problem comes when you are with someone you love but he/she speaks a different love language.  If you speak quality time but your husband speaks acts of service, you’ll be nagging him to take you out to dinner while he is expecting to come home to a clean house, clean kids and dinner ready.  To compound the problem, he wants to show you love but the only way he knows how is through his own language (acts of service), then before he comes home he changes the oil in the car and washes it.  And you want to show love through your own language (quality time), so you don’t cook dinner that night and send the kids to your mom’s so that you both can go out for dinner.  What do you think will happen when he gets home?  Disaster?  Probably. 

Both showed love but both didn’t receive it. 

Want to experience love with your loved ones?  Follow these steps:

1. Figure out what your primary love language is.
2. Figure out what your loved one’s primary love language is.
3. When showing love, speak their love language, not yours.

Take this quiz to figure out your love language.  It will transform your love life.

Watch the videos:

How to get married for practicing Muslims!

A sister asked me to post this.  I highly encourage anyone who wants to get married to go through this world-class training program.

How can you find Mr. or Ms. Right without compromising your Deen? This is a question lots and lots of practicing Muslim singles keep asking. While many of us want to be able to choose like minded spouses, no one wants to end up compromising their highest principles, and lowering their standards, especially when it comes to searching for a strong, practicing Muslim. (Speed meeting events? No thanks!)

Enter PRACTIMATE! A new service that provides both marriage training and matchmaking, (though the matchmaking part is optional, you could just want to do the training)  and has been co-founded by Sh.Yaser Birjas who is an AlMaghrib Institute instructor, counselor, Imam, valedictorian of his class from Medina University, AND best known for teaching seminars titled “Love Notes” and “Fiqh of Love.” All I can say is  having someone like this on board will surely set apart Practimate from any other program out there for Muslims so far.

Please share this blog link with your friends and family so everyone can learn about this amazing opportunity. They just opened to the public today!

You can visit the website for more details, and a short video clip from Sh.Yaser explaining what Practimate is all about.

 

Sex-athon gone wrong

photo credit: ben.ramirez

 

I heard of fast-athon, but sex-athon? And it gets worse. It’s all happening at a church.  Their marketing pitch is ’seven straight days of sex for married couples’.

Well, I do agree with one thing – bringing back the education of marital relations within the context marriage but planting a bed on the pastor’s stage is a whole other dimension to the plan.

Marital relations, like all other aspects, has it’s place in life and religion.  Priests and Imams (mosque leaders) can take the initiative to educate others but how? Publicly endorsing a sex-athon? Embarrassing to say the least.

Let’s use Prophet Muhammad’s method (peace be upon him) of educating others instead.  There are many pieces of advice that we have and here is just one:

Narrated by Abu Dharr: “Some of the companions of the Prophet said to him: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, the affluent among us have taken the rewards (of the hereafter)! They pray as we pray, fast as we fast, and then they give charity from the surplus of their wealth!” The Prophet said: “Did Allaah not make for you that from which you can give sadaqa? Verily for every time you say Subhannallah (Exalted is Allah) there is a sadaqa, and for every time you say Allahuakbar (Allah is Most Great) there is a sadaqa, and for every time you say Al-Hamdulillah (Praise is to Allah) there is sadaqa, and in every act of enjoining what is right there is sadaqa, and in every act of forbidding what is wrong there is a sadaqa, and in your sexual relations there is a sadaqa.” The Companions said: “O Messenger of Allaah , is there a reward for one of us when he satisfies his sexual desire?” The Prophet said: “Don’t you see, if he had satisfied it with the forbidden, would there not have been a sin upon him?” They said: “Why, yes! He said: “In the same way, when he satisfies it with that which is lawful, there is for him in that a reward.”

[Muslim, an-Nasaa'ee in al-'Ishrah, and Ahamd]

 

Right now, The Marriage Revolution company is preparing to launch a program for Muslim converts and all the issues they face in marriage.  Check it out: www.themarriagerevolution.com

 

 

 

Marriage webcast: August 19

Watch the video: Crisis of Marriage in America

 

• Am I truly ready for marriage?
• What does being ready really mean?
• What does it take to get married?
• Is there a certain mindset to be in?
• What should I expect in the first year or two of marriage?
  Do I need a certain degree or level?
• What does “being financially capable” mean? Is there a minimum I should be making?  Who decides that?

Read the rest or sign up for the webcast at:  http://www.askaboutmarriage.com/

Muslim madness: what no one is talking about but everyone is thinking about

 

 

 

You know people are thinking about it because you can see subtle (or not-so-subtle!) hints in people’s messages and e-mails but everyone is afraid to let it out of the bag for fear of embarrassment or rejection.

What is that topic?  You figure it out:

What she says: Wow, ma sha Allah, great idea to gather all the Greek Muslims together.

What she means: I wonder if I can meet a really awesome Greek Muslim brother that will fall in love with me.

What he says:  Wow, ma sha Allah, great idea to gather all the Greek Muslims together.

What he means: I wonder if there are any beautiful Greek Muslim sisters I can hook up with?

The topic?  “I wanna get married!”  

(Haha, I know you’re smiling right now.   )

 

Ok, so let’s let the cat out of the bag.  How do brothers or sisters approach each other without feeling utterly embarrassed?!  How do we go about hooking marriages up, keeping in mind everything has to be halal?  We need to go through a wali but many of us here don’t have a father wali but most likely an imam wali that is probably busy with a thousand other things.

Ok, so don’t get shy on me now.  I don’t want to be the only one talking about this – then that will be uncomfortable .  Post your ideas, even if you are married or if you are not looking for marriage.  We’re just in “general beating around the bush” type conversation right now.  No need for utter embarrassment … yet! 

The Marriage REVOLUTION

Since we were discussing marriage issues in a previous post, I would like to introduce you to the best of all marriage projects:

 

 

This is the MOST practical solution I’ve seen yet and it’s getting a lot of coverage ma sha Allah.  Click through to the website to get the free e-book on the Top 10 Real Reasons Why You Can’t Get Married. You will be redirected to their blog to find lots of comments on obstacles Muslims are facing today.  Married or not, there is a lot of interesting stuff there.

www.iwannagetmarried.com

 

Another outstanding video of the real Islamic marriage facts.

 

Etho Ta Leme: Why couldn’t you just find a good Greek boy?

Introducing our new section, Etho Ta Leme! This will be our open discussion arena.  Literally, this translates from Greek to “here we will say them” , coming from the expression,”Ta Leme”, which generally means “see you [soon]“.  In other words, it’s your time to shine!  Let others know what you think about the chosen topic.  Let’s make the first discussion memorable!!!

————————————–

Why couldn’t you just find a good Greek boy?

I’m sure at one point in time, you’ve heard your mom say this to your or your sibling.  It’s the dream of any mother that you find that perfect Greek spouse.

As exciting as marriage can be, it’s also complicated.  To add to that, many are entering into intercultural marriages (which are permissible), especially in the case of Greek Muslims who are widely spread out around the world. 

Would you rather marry

 inside or outside of your culture?

 

 

 

 

Looking forward to hearing lots of responses insha Allah.  Let’s get a discussion going and connect on a whole new level!

 

Nag, nag, nag

 

Nagging.

It’s what Greek women are known for.  Come on sisters, admit it.   Remember “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”?  I’m sure the brothers are shaking their heads profusely in agreement.

Let’s face it, we were raised on it.  We’ve seen our mothers constantly nag our families about what to eat, what to wear, where to go or who to befriend.  We’ve seen our mothers constantly nag our fathers too from things like what he should say or not say, do or not do, wear or not wear.

And, monkey see, monkey do.

Many of us are now married to Muslims, but we still have remnants of what coin the image of a typical Greek lady - loud, nagging and gossiping (in addition to the caring and loving woman who always has food ready for family and guests. )

We’ve now entered into Islam and learned that for a successful marriage, we should treat our husband with respect and take care of him and his things (and he will treat us with honor and respect in return).  He is the head of the household, who provides for us and takes care of us, so nagging has to be deleted from our lives. 

But, how?  It was part of our environment for 15-20 years+.

This is the problem I see here, at least in the West, where feminism has creeped into our lives to top it all off.  But, it’s ruining marriages and divorce rates are increasing even within the Muslim community.

It’s a continuous struggle I (and perhaps others) live with to transform the loud, nagging, gossiping environment we were raised with into a respectful environment we can with our husband, obeying his decisions as the head of the househould and respecting his judgments and not sharing his secrets with the world.

No one is perfect and we are struggling.  I struggle with it too but one hadith I have up on my wall to continously remind me is,

Umm Salama reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Any woman who dies at a time when her husband is pleased with her will enter the Garden.”

What about you?  How are you dealing with it?