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Source: www.tovima.gr

By Achilles Hekimoglou 21^st of November 2010

Anna Stamou

One of the leading international Muslim awards of Europe was recently given to a Greek lady. The public relations manager of the Muslim Association of Greece miss Anna Stamou is included in the 10 Muslim ladies with the greater and most positive influence in Europe, next to personages like the famous Iraqi architect Zaha Hadid! Miss Stamou found herself among the top 10 of the female aspect’s expression of the modern, moderate Islam, receiving a relevant award by the European Muslim Professionals Network (CEDAR), which is supported by the well known Institute of Strategic Dialogue, also known as the “Three Club”. The award ceremony , which took place three weeks ago in Madrid, is an important step for Greece so as to have a voice on the continuously widening circle of influence on the European Muslims, of the importance of whom has been stated over the last few years by numerous analysts of the international relations of our country.

Miss Stamou refers on the nowadays big issue that preoccupies the mind of thousands of Greeks and foreign Muslims, meaning the creation of an Islamic prayer site and cemetery in the capital. “We had suggested creating a simple, functional infrastructure that will be aesthetically compatible with the surrounding area. We do not imagine any luxuries just a functional prayer site.” And at the same time she criticizes the new phenomenon of islamophobia in Greece, characterising it as temporal and of ephemeral consuming. “In the past there were the communists, today are the Muslims. In a few time though, this will no longer have any effect and shall be forgotten” she underlines

In addition, she highlights that the lack of a Mosque is not the only deficiency, but there is also the lack of accredited officially appointed Imams in our country. “The imam –as well as the priest and the spiritual instructors-aids with his consultation people or couples who face problems, seek for psychological support or they confront moral dilemmas. Furthermore, we do have mixed weddings, where so many women ignore their rights. This is a tragedy.” She adds that it is necessary to create all the required institutions with Greek and not with foreign funds. “In such cases the financial contributor, has the upper hand. We have seen countries such as Holland and Great Britain to establish the state’s control.”

Miss Stamou became a Muslim six years ago, as she found answers for her inner philosophical quests. “My quest has been long, I was always seeking answers and I always had answered questions, not necessarily of theological nature. In my quest of truth, I could not get satisfactory answers. Thus, I consulted several philosophical schools; I dealt deeply with Pythagoras, through whom I found myself embracing Islam. “she states. During this quest she met her current husband, with whom they jointed as volunteers the organisation “Doctors of the World”, during the war in Iraq. Then was the time when she came into closer contact with Islam, and she started researching deeper to its teachings. “I thought due to the knowledge I have acquired from school that this is an inferior and distorted religion. Islam though had given me answers. I said then to myself that I should learn more about this religion. Many of the questions I had, started sorting themselves out with a simplicity that was really annoying!” she states. Miss Stamou underlines that due to the historical facts in our country many people confuse Muslims with Turkey, a thing she says it is wrong. “I have been a Muslim for so many years and I have learnt the word bayram last year! During my way to Islam, I have never met Turkey. The European citizen who becomes Muslim he does not obtain knowledge from the Turks, but from the Arabs, following Arab teachers” she underlines. “In Europe those who embrace Islam learn from English and French sources. Though there are thousands Greek Muslims, I do not understand why there are not any published book in Greek. Thankfully, we published five books.” She says.

She as well says that her transition from Christianity to Islam was escorted by acceptance from the side of family and her friends.”I have not met any negative reactions. Some people might have questions or they might not like it. But what could I do? Anyhow, they did not like yoga either!  I did not change my social behaviour, I just wore a head scarf!” she narrates.

Miss Stamou is 37 years old and she was born in Athens, one month after the riot of Polytechneio. “My mother, being eight months pregnant to me, was watching the facts from the roof of our house.” She was born and bred in Ilioupolis, studied Business administration and Economics, though she professionally dealt with sign language but also with yoga, which she still teaches! The awarded Greek lady, is married with the chairman of the Muslim Association of Greece, Mr. Elgandhour , is a mother of two children , and she is the public relations manager of the previously referred association. “A few years ago, I had an office for the young Muslims, though I have translated from English language books relevant with Islam” she states. Though for many years, her main occupation was the family business, an old small factory of athletic wear that their parents had, which due to the recession shut down.

“Wearing hijab is a matter of choice”

The issue of hijab consists an important issue for many countries, for Miss Stamou though things are quite simple.

Miss Stamou holding a tray on her hands she treats guests during Ramadan

“Hijab is a part of the faith, a part you can choose to follow or not. It is your choice” she adds. Though, as she highlights, it has not only a social standing, as anyone who does an internal request, will also find other things. “The hijab is a matter of choice. But, anywhere where is enforced, is a wrongdoing. Certainly, in my opinion, when it is exposed as a symbol of oppression, is wrong. I have seen women who fight for their right to wear it” she states.

Miss Stamou refers on her award with satisfaction. “There were ten awards given, all of them equally given. I was awarded due to my actions through the Muslim Association to claim an Islamic prayer site and a cemetery but also for my positive contribution in society. The European Muslim Professionals Network (CEDAR) promotes education, progress, business, creativity, arts and sciences. It is not a religious institution” she highlights.

As she says, the basis of all the issues is the peaceful coexistence and tolerance. “During Ramadan, we eat together with our Christian friends; this is something that is not easily found in Europe. Furthermore, my daughter loves and is eager for Christmas. So they last approximately up… to Easter!” she concludes.

Questions were racing through my mind.  Does this makes me a Muslim? What is a Muslim after all? And is it easy to become one? And what happens after that? What if I regret?

It was minutes after my shahada (my declaration of the Islamic faith), a few weeks ago.

It took me almost 9 years to believe there is actually a God and choose Islam as the way to worship Him.  But why was that? Having a very hard life so far, full of personal traumatic experiences of which I could not be responsible for during childhood, puberty and adolescence, a person does not have the right to make his own choices by law, I was led to disappointment.

I almost completely rejected the presence of God or of any Divinity in my life.

Although I was completely dissatisfied by the behaviour of the clergy in Greece and still having the words of the burial service which says “rest your servant ignoring all sins,” I decided to start reading about religion.

Feeling tormented, tired and a bit desperate to find answers to my questions, I choose to read religion initially and then philosophy and history of sciences instead of trying to find my way through fortune tellers or tarot readers, drugs or alcohol.

No matter how hard someone tries to numb himself so he doesn’t feel any pain, the pain will always be there, waiting to be confronted. Being deeply ethical and raised with the traditional values of a middle class Greek family , values of honesty, pride and dignity, I did not want to be part of any religious or philosophical group just to satisfy my needs for warmth and affection. And I definitely, loved and honoured my Greek cultural identity and I did not want to imitate or fake any other identity or nationality.

I started researching Christianity and mainly the Orthodox Dogma, then Judaism and Buddhism and finally Islam. I started gradually believing in God, my faith becoming stronger with time. At some point I started having questions about the Trinity, questions for which I found the answers in Islam.

What I realised is that Islam is the religion that closes the circle of Divine revelations. Islam means peace and Muslim means the person who offers himself to God and God only, with no remorse or personal benefit. Allah is not a new invention, it’s just the Arabic word for God, the half moon is not a symbol of blood bathing and revenge but is a reminder that Muslim people calculate the time based on the moon rather than the sun.

At this point I seriously started to consider myself as a believer rather than an agnostic. In the meantime, I moved to United Kingdom, to further educate myself though postgraduate studies. I do not know if it was a sign but while I was in UK, I kept meeting really nice people, the majority of them being Muslims, and I ended up marrying one of them.

I continued reading more and more and was becoming focused on Islam this time. Though not only reading, watching documentaries, attending Islamic lectures, going to Islamic museums, attending Islamic classes.

And there comes the questioning. Do I want to be part of a religion that has so many different variations of interpretation of its Holy Book? Would I want to be part of a group that would be a religious minority in my country? Would I want to be part of a religious group where most people, of the ones I have met at least, are paying attention just to the rules of worship and not the worship itself? Or would I want to be part of a religion which is used by its own followers to inspire hate and hostility?

I got again disappointed but this time not by the religion itself or the philosophy itself or from the Quran but from the followers. And then I realised that I cannot blame the religion itself since I found the answers to my questions, from its followers. I decided to start living as a Muslim for a period of time, to see what it takes and see if it is really so hard. As it is stated in Quran, men and women were created equally having their own free will.

But what does it mean to live as a Muslim? Wearing an abaya and niqaab? Praying 10 times a day? Fasting strictly during Ramadan? Staying at home and having loads of children? Avoiding any kind of joyful experience just in case you do something forbidden? Certainly not, in my opinion.

Islam is not a strict system of rules or a kind of imprisonment. Doing good deeds every single day, trying to avoid bad actions, praying as much as you can, fasting as much as you can, showing love and compassion and always fighting peacefully to improve yourself, progressing and evolving in knowledge day by day, trying your best every single day, this is what it takes to be a Muslim.

I realised that I could live as a Muslim, I just changed the way and the frequency of my prayers, I stopped completely eating pork or drinking alcohol and I wore a headscarf. That’s all. So after this so long journey, I decided to have my shahada done admitting firstly to myself that ‘There is no god but Allah (God), and Muhammad is the messenger of Allah (God).

Written by:

Myrto Z.

Athens, Greece

What do you think?  Is this true for Muslim families? For Greek families?

Have you ever been in a room full of people that can’t speak your language?  I’ve had my share.  Usually, we end up making gestures, hand signals, using cut-up words to get our point across.  Ten minutes of that and it’s not fun any more, trust me.

Well, the same goes for love.  Have you ever tried showing love to your spouse, kids or parents and they didn’t care?  Like giving them a gift for Eid and they put it aside and never used it?  Or you just wish that they would give you a compliment that you can cherish, but they never did? 

That just means they don’t speak your primary love language.  So, I finally bought the book for like $3 at Amazon.com.  (Ok, it was a great deal I got for a used book.)  I’ve been reading bits of it for years now but the concept is so good and simple that I just had to read the entire book.  According to Gary Chapman, the author of The Five Love Languages, there are five ways people express love:

• Words of affirmation
• Quality time
• Receiving gifts
• Acts of service
• Physical touch

We all have one that is dominant and that we use to show love to others.   The problem comes when you are with someone you love but he/she speaks a different love language.  If you speak quality time but your husband speaks acts of service, you’ll be nagging him to take you out to dinner while he is expecting to come home to a clean house, clean kids and dinner ready.  To compound the problem, he wants to show you love but the only way he knows how is through his own language (acts of service), then before he comes home he changes the oil in the car and washes it.  And you want to show love through your own language (quality time), so you don’t cook dinner that night and send the kids to your mom’s so that you both can go out for dinner.  What do you think will happen when he gets home?  Disaster?  Probably. 

Both showed love but both didn’t receive it. 

Want to experience love with your loved ones?  Follow these steps:

1. Figure out what your primary love language is.
2. Figure out what your loved one’s primary love language is.
3. When showing love, speak their love language, not yours.

Take this quiz to figure out your love language.  It will transform your love life.

Watch the videos:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Click here to view the embedded video.

How can you find Mr. or Ms. Right without compromising your Deen? This is a question lots and lots of practicing Muslim singles keep asking. While many of us want to be able to choose like minded spouses, no one wants to end up compromising their highest principles, and lowering their standards, especially when it comes to searching for a strong, practicing Muslim. (Speed meeting events? No thanks!)

Enter PRACTIMATE! A new service that provides both marriage training and matchmaking, (though the matchmaking part is optional, you could just want to do the training)  and has been co-founded by Sh.Yaser Birjas who is an AlMaghrib Institute instructor, counselor, Imam, valedictorian of his class from Medina University, AND best known for teaching seminars titled “Love Notes” and “Fiqh of Love.” All I can say is  having someone like this on board will surely set apart Practimate from any other program out there for Muslims so far.

Please share this blog link with your friends and family so everyone can learn about this amazing opportunity. They just opened to the public today!

You can visit the website for more details, and a short video clip from Sh.Yaser explaining what Practimate is all about.

Click here to view the embedded video.

photo credit: ben.ramirez

I heard of fast-athon, but sex-athon? And it gets worse. It’s all happening at a church.  Their marketing pitch is ’seven straight days of sex for married couples’.

Well, I do agree with one thing – bringing back the education of marital relations within the context marriage but planting a bed on the pastor’s stage is a whole other dimension to the plan.

Marital relations, like all other aspects, has it’s place in life and religion.  Priests and Imams (mosque leaders) can take the initiative to educate others but how? Publicly endorsing a sex-athon? Embarrassing to say the least.

Let’s use Prophet Muhammad’s method (peace be upon him) of educating others instead.  There are many pieces of advice that we have and here is just one:

Narrated by Abu Dharr: “Some of the companions of the Prophet said to him: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, the affluent among us have taken the rewards (of the hereafter)! They pray as we pray, fast as we fast, and then they give charity from the surplus of their wealth!” The Prophet said: “Did Allaah not make for you that from which you can give sadaqa? Verily for every time you say Subhannallah (Exalted is Allah) there is a sadaqa, and for every time you say Allahuakbar (Allah is Most Great) there is a sadaqa, and for every time you say Al-Hamdulillah (Praise is to Allah) there is sadaqa, and in every act of enjoining what is right there is sadaqa, and in every act of forbidding what is wrong there is a sadaqa, and in your sexual relations there is a sadaqa.” The Companions said: “O Messenger of Allaah , is there a reward for one of us when he satisfies his sexual desire?” The Prophet said: “Don’t you see, if he had satisfied it with the forbidden, would there not have been a sin upon him?” They said: “Why, yes! He said: “In the same way, when he satisfies it with that which is lawful, there is for him in that a reward.”

[Muslim, an-Nasaa'ee in al-'Ishrah, and Ahamd]

Right now, The Marriage Revolution company is preparing to launch a program for Muslim converts and all the issues they face in marriage.  Check it out: www.themarriagerevolution.com

Watch the video: Crisis of Marriage in America

• Am I truly ready for marriage?
• What does being ready really mean?
• What does it take to get married?
• Is there a certain mindset to be in?
• What should I expect in the first year or two of marriage?
  Do I need a certain degree or level?
• What does “being financially capable” mean? Is there a minimum I should be making?  Who decides that?

Read the rest or sign up for the webcast at:  http://www.askaboutmarriage.com/

You know people are thinking about it because you can see subtle (or not-so-subtle!) hints in people’s messages and e-mails but everyone is afraid to let it out of the bag for fear of embarrassment or rejection.

What is that topic?  You figure it out:

What she says: Wow, ma sha Allah, great idea to gather all the Greek Muslims together.

What she means: I wonder if I can meet a really awesome Greek Muslim brother that will fall in love with me.

What he says:  Wow, ma sha Allah, great idea to gather all the Greek Muslims together.

What he means: I wonder if there are any beautiful Greek Muslim sisters I can hook up with?

The topic?  “I wanna get married!”  

(Haha, I know you’re smiling right now.   )

Ok, so let’s let the cat out of the bag.  How do brothers or sisters approach each other without feeling utterly embarrassed?!  How do we go about hooking marriages up, keeping in mind everything has to be halal?  We need to go through a wali but many of us here don’t have a father wali but most likely an imam wali that is probably busy with a thousand other things.

Ok, so don’t get shy on me now.  I don’t want to be the only one talking about this – then that will be uncomfortable .  Post your ideas, even if you are married or if you are not looking for marriage.  We’re just in “general beating around the bush” type conversation right now.  No need for utter embarrassment … yet! 

Click here to view the embedded video.

This is the MOST practical solution I’ve seen yet and it’s getting a lot of coverage ma sha Allah.  Click through to the website to get the free e-book on the Top 10 Real Reasons Why You Can’t Get Married. You will be redirected to their blog to find lots of comments on obstacles Muslims are facing today.  Married or not, there is a lot of interesting stuff there.

www.iwannagetmarried.com

Another outstanding video of the real Islamic marriage facts.

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Why couldn’t you just find a good Greek boy?

I’m sure at one point in time, you’ve heard your mom say this to your or your sibling.  It’s the dream of any mother that you find that perfect Greek spouse.

As exciting as marriage can be, it’s also complicated.  To add to that, many are entering into intercultural marriages (which are permissible), especially in the case of Greek Muslims who are widely spread out around the world. 

Looking forward to hearing lots of responses insha Allah.  Let’s get a discussion going and connect on a whole new level!