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Διαβαστε στα Ελληνικα

Today I finally decided to write about my own journey to Islam.

A journey that started many many years ago. For those of you who do not know me, I was born in Athens in Greece. There is where I lived to the end of my high school years. My family was small but very loving, I only have one sibling (sister) and our parents gave us the best they could.

Religion did not play a big part in my life as I was growing up. When we were young we would go to church but that was not very often. The usual attendances maybe for Easter, weddings, baptisms, and the occasional Sunday. A few times I even went to Sunday school.

However God was at the back of my mind but as something very distant.

I used to be conscious that sometimes He was watching me but that did not stop me to at times act upon my whims and desires. I had this belief that He would understand and forgive me no matter what I was up to. The Christian belief of we will be forgiven as a result of the sacrifice of Jesus(as) was deep rooted in me.

Anyway, when I finished high school in Greece I came over to UK to continue my education. Here is where I met my husband who was a Muslim.

I was not compromising at all in any religious matters. So religion was something that we never discussed. I respected his faith and he, mine.

I had deep rooted negative beliefs and fear of Islam. In school we had learnt only very little about Islam and a very negative picture was embedded in me.

When our children were born, they would all go to the mosque for Eid and other Islamic occasions but I never joined them. Either I would stay in the car or stay at home. I was convinced that the Greek Orthodox religion was the only religion for me and it was the correct faith. Now how I had come to that conclusion, without even trying to research is a mystery. I think it was pure arrogance and ignorance all in one.

The years passed by and I carried on in my own world. I would also feel guilty for having married a Muslim and at times I felt like a traitor towards my parents, religion and country.

Then my husband passed away. He was abroad and my sons were at the airport travelling to attend the funeral. I received a text message from my youngest son saying, “Mum we love you and we do not want you to be different from us when you die and go to a different place. Please become a Muslimah.”

In my mind I was fighting the concept, but after 30 years I finally opened the Qur’an. Reluctanlty at first. But then I read and read and read on. Fascinating. The miracles of the Qur’an, the language (even though it was only a translation), the stories of the prophets. I knew I was reading the word of the Lord of the worlds.

Islam was not a new faith. Islam is the religion that all prophets(as) sent by Allah brought to humanity with Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) being the last and final prophet. It was easy to understand. Believe in One God Only with no partners and all the prophets.

No trinity and complicated concepts. So easy to explain to a child. No need for clergy to speak to Allah swt. Basically no middle men. Just me and my Creator. I could speak to Allah (swt) and He could hear me. I speak to Him during the five daily obligatory prayers. I speak to Him anywhere. In the car, in the supermarket. Anywhere. I do not need anybody to intervene on my behalf for forgiveness. I go straight t to Allah (swt), I repent and I know He hears me and hopefully forgives me. We believe that He is the best of judges, He hears the supplications and our sincere requests for forgiveness providing we abstain from the sin.

Islam is not only religious duties. It is s a wholesome and pure way of life. A perfect system. Allah (swt) not only sent us the Qur’an as a guidance but sent us Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) to show us how to apply the Qur’an in our lives and how to live in order to enter paradise. The road to paradise is full of obstacles. The only way we can get into paradise is by following the Qur’an and the prophetic sunnah. We will also need the mercy of Allah (swt).

Islam encourages us to find out things for ourselves. Islam does not say, ” This is it. Now follow it.” Allah swt says, “Look! Look around you, travel, look at your own bodies, the sky, the nature. Why can you not see?”

So I looked and looked again. I researched. I asked questions. The same questions again and again. It all came back as one thing. Islam is Allah’s true religion and I now was ready to become a Muslimah.

No guilt, no doubts just pure determination. I then accepted Islam as my religion. No need to feel guilty for following monotheism. For being on the straight path.

I thank Allah for taking me out of the darkness and into light.

For the Islamic marriage to be legal there are certain  conditions to be fulfilled.

Narrated Uqba bin Amir: Allah’s apostle said, “From among all the conditions which you have to fulfill, the conditions which make it legal i.e. the  marriage  contract has the greatest right to be fulfilled.” (Book #50, Hadith #882)Bukhari

1) The  Mahr to be agreed upon and paid.

A Muslim husband has to agree a financial deal with the prospective wife before marriage. This money present is known as the mahr, and is a payment made to the bride which is hers to keep and use as she wishes.

The reason is that even if the girl has nothing, she becomes a bride with property of her own. If the bride later seeks a divorce which the husband does not wish for, she is allowed to return him the money and seek what is known as a khula divorce.

At the time of the Prophet (pbuh), a man wanted to get married and he had no property to offer for mahr……. When Allah’s Apostle saw him going, he ordered that he be called back. When he came, the prophet said, “How much of the Qur’an do you know?” He said, “I know such sura and such sura,” counting them. The prophet said, “Do you know them by heart?” He replied, “Yes.” The prophet said, “Go, I marry her to you for that much of the Qur’an which you have.”  (Book #62, Hadith #24) Bukhari

2)  The nikah

The actual Muslim wedding is known as nikah. It is a simple ceremony.

According to sharee’ah, marriage is done through the contract between the two spouses, with the consent of the woman’s guardian and in the presence of two witnesses. Such a contract is complete even if there is no celebration or party.

There are certain things which are basic to all Muslim marriages. Marriages have to be declared publicly. They should never be undertaken in secret. The publicity is usually achieved by having a large feast, or walimah - a party specifically for the purpose of announcing publicly that the couple are married and entitled to each other.

They invite people to a feast on this occasion as an expression of joy and to publicize the marriage, all of these are things which are mustahabb (encouraged) on the occasion of marriage. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Announce marriage.” (Narrated by Ahmad, 4/5; classed as saheeh by al-Haakim, 2/200; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 1072).

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf when he got married, “Give a feast, even with one sheep.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1943; Muslim, 3475).

So this is all. If we look at the prophetic teachings  no extravaganzas were encouraged or performed at the weddings.

There are ahadith that prescribe   the  prophet’s(saw) own  walimahs.

Narrated Anas: A banquet of bread and meat was held on the occasion of the marriage of the prophet to Zainab bint Jahsh. I was sent to invite the people (to the banquet), and so the people started coming (in groups); they would eat and then leave. Another batch would come, eat and leave (Book #60, Hadith #316) Bukhari

But going back to the Islamic weddings of our times.

Instead of having a simple ceremony just praying and asking for Allah’s blessingsaccording to the prophetic teachings and examples, we often have blaring music, waste of food, money, free mixing between the sexes, relaxed hijab rules and immense financial burdens.

May Allah protect us all from abandoning the Qur’an and the sunnah of our beloved prophet (saw) and grant us the wisdom to obey Him.